HetaCapitals - The Magical Stone of Foolproofness!
by Musicstarnc
Summary: In the HetaOni mansion Tokyo and the other capitals in this story are bored and waiting for Steve to return with pizza. While they wait Tokyo takes a magic staircase to epic showdown with an old foe for the magic stone of foolproofness! Will she prevail? Will the capitals ever get their pizza? It's as random and crazy as it sounds maybe even worse and has references galore. Oneshot


**Somewhere in the HetaOni mansion...**

"Goddamn I'm bored!" Tokyo complained. It was indeed boring. Steve had decided today was a good day to go out for pizza and hadn't been back for a while. Tokyo, London and Rome were playing Capitalism With Friends (Monopoly) while waiting for the plot to develop in their story.

Berlin was poking a sleeping Warsaw with a stick. Athens was reading a book, Moscow was drawing a picture and D.C. was attempting to pull an Austria by expressing her feelings of boredom through the piano. So nothing all that interesting. They couldn't even leave the damn piano room because they were all STARVING and if they weren't here when Steve got back no one was going to save them any food.

"Do you think he stopped by KFC for me to get mac and cheese?" London asked hopefully.

"No" Tokyo said, shattering all of her cheesy, pasta-filled dreams. London looked crestfallen.

"I'm boooooooooooooooooooooooreeeeeddddd!" D.C. exclaimed.

"Thank you, D.C., we weren't aware of that" Athens said, looking up from her book.

"Screw this!" Tokyo sat up, kicked the monopoly board across the room, and marched to the door.

"Where are you going General HotHead?" London asked placidly.

"To look around. Plot holes are evident when this series goes on break!" Tokyo said excitedly and scurried out the door.

"That girl needs some serious medication" said Moscow. All of the capitals, even Warsaw who had woken up when the monopoly board exploded next to her, looked at each other and followed Tokyo out of the room. She was staring at a staircase right beside the piano room.

"But a staircase isn't supposed to appear for a few more chapters!" London exclaimed. "Wonderful Tokyo; you've broken our magical house!"

"No. Didn't I already explain about the plot holes?" Tokyo said then walked up the stairs.

"To-Ky-Ooooo" London growled and marched up behind the dirty-blonde. The others followed her wordlessly.

It was a very Harry Potterish room. Appearing to be built out of obsidian with torches lining the walls that gave off no smoke. In the middle of the room was an altar with a magical, glowing, all-powerful - rock.

"_A rock! I came all this way for a ROCK!" _Tokyo exclaimed much like Rarity when her horn dragged her halfway across Equestria for a rock. Only this rock was much smaller, purple, and was likely not hiding thousands of dollars worth of gemstones inside. Tokyo picked up the rock.

"Don't! You'll trigger-" London began then the room was washed in red light and an alarm blared. Bars dropped over the exit. And a door opened on the opposite side of the room. "A boobie trap. Lovely. Just lovely" London said facepalming.

Tokyo strolled through the door like it was nothing. In fact she was whistling (or trying to) and she had her hands in her pockets like some hipster. She had even magically made shades appear and was wearing them. The other capitals followed her; curious to see where this door would lead them.

"Holy [insert unfavored hetalia pairing here]" said Athens. The room was made of shiny red bedrock with bleachers lining either side of the wall. There was a large staircase leading up to a completely shadowed figure. He was laughing silently to himself and had screens displaying all different parts of the mansion excluding this room.

"So..." said an unnaturally deep yet seductive voice. "It's been a while Tokyo. Have you missed me?"

"Only in your dreams you insufferable purple troll" Tokyo growled. He laughed again. The figure turned. It was the Ao Oni! The other capitals took seats in the bleachers. Popcorn and drinks also magically made their way into their hands so they could enjoy the show.

"You dare to challenge me for the stone of foolproofness?" The oni asked.

"Challenge? The stone belongs to me Ao and you're never going to take it away from me again!" Tokyo spat. Her eyes were narrow and feral meaning only one thing: she was in yandere mode.

The two charged at each other. The epic battle for the stone of foolproofness has begun! Tokyo whipped out her katana and smacked the oni upside the head like she was wielding a baseball bat and the oni's head was a large horribly misshapen ball. The oni countered by b*tch slapping Tokyo. She blinked like she couldn't belive he had actually hit her.

"TIME TO CUT A BITCH!" D.C. yelled encouragingly.

"Not helping..." Tokyo grumbled.

"RAWR" the oni bellowed.

"That all you got? Come at me, bro!" Tokyo screeched and charged once again. _Bear the Cross _started playing out of nowhere. After an equally epic battle sequence Tokyo had sustained some damage, the oni equal damage. They charged and - _snap!_

Tokyo's katana snapped right in half. She sunk to her knees. "NoOoOoOoOoOoOo!" It was over. Without a weapon Tokyo couldn't fight. There were always her magic chopsticks but she had learned a long time ago that they were useless on an oni.

"Tokyo" A voice broke her out of her grief. It was Rome. "Take this!" She threw something pointy and metal at her.

"What the hell do you expect me to do with a_ fork_!?" Tokyo stood, outraged. She was about to throw the damn thing to the ground when an idea struck her. _That could work out nicely _she thought, an evil grin settling on her face.

"RaWrRrRr!" The oni bellowed again but Tokyo was ready. In fact that was exactly what she had been waiting for.

"TOGATEIRU FOHKU KOHGEKI!" In English, Pointy Fork Attack, Tokyo screeched and threw the fork. It embedded itself in the oni's large forehead. He sunk to the ground, defeated. _That was all it took?!_ Was the only comprehensible thought running through Tokyo's head.

"You... you have defeated me. Even I fall to the inevitable pointy fork attack. The stone is yours. You can use it to alter this house in any way you like. You can control time and all the other mumbo jumbo." He started crying "please take care of it. And don't abuse its power. It will only listen to your commands as you have defeated me."

"Like hell I won't abuse it. We're freaking trapped here! And hungry! Plus, with this, I can be the Haruhi Suzumiya of this story!" Tokyo exclaimed happily.

"Speaking of which I think Steve should be back with the pizza by now" said Warsaw.

They turned back to the oni but he was gone. Probably making Hiroshi's life hell once again and torturing Japan in his nightmares. So Tokyo used the stone to fix her weapon and they teleported back to the piano room.

"THERE YOU GUYS ARE!" Steve all but screamed at them when they magically teleported back to the piano room when it only would have taken them two minutes to walk there. Why didn't they walk? Because they didn't have to. However they were late and as expected there was no pizza left! And they were hungry!

Rather than do the logical thing and just make more pizza appear, Tokyo used the stone to reverse time to before she found it. They were back in the piano room, bored, and the stone was gone. Then Steve burst through the door with pizza boxes "Who's hungry?" He asked and they all stuffed their faces happily ever after.

_~The End~_


End file.
